You’ve no doubt heard the story about the beach covered with thousands of starfish that had washed up during a storm. A girl is tossing the starfish one by one back into the ocean so they could live.
A man comes along and asks the girl, “Why bother? With so many starfish washed ashore, how much of a difference can throwing a few back possibly make?”
The child throws another starfish back into the water and replies, “I made a difference to that one.”
Clearly, the story is meant to motivate us to help even in small ways, but I often found it overwhelming to think about all those other starfish left on the beach.
As the challenges of the world loom large, it’s easy to lose sight of what we can do to help and focus instead on how much is left to fix. But don’t be discouraged. Here’s how the little things you do really can make a big difference.
1 – The cumulative effect of small actions works.
Renowned relationship experts John and Julie Gottman of the Gottman Institute in Seattle encourage partners to do “small things often” to build a strong foundation in the relationship. Their research shows that small, well-intentioned actions done every day have a cumulative positive impact on the well-being and longevity of the relationship, much more so than infrequent grand gestures.
The cumulative effect of small donations greatly impacts the bottom line and success of charitable organizations as well. Consistent “micro-donations” from smaller donors are often viewed as a more reliable source of funds than larger sporadic contributions they can’t always count on in lean times. Moreover, government funding is often tied to the level of private donor support from the community – more individual contributions show more people care about the cause, so the politicians are more apt to back it.
Political campaigns have long solicited contributions from regular people unable to give thousands of dollars, but Obama’s successful campaign in 2008 really showed the power of aggregating small donations to take the campaign to the next level. Although they certainly also had large donors, the vast majority of donors to the campaign gave under $200. It was a model that Obama followed again when he ran for re-election in 2012, and other politicians have since taken up the successful strategy to raise more money and get more people involved in their campaigns.
2. Small actions create the world we want to live in.
Most of us are not in a position to effect sweeping changes in global conflict or world hunger. But every one of us can use constructive words that set the tone for better interactions with our co-workers and friends and help feed hungry people in our neighborhoods. And those efforts do matter.
While top-down, systemic plans to provide food and other vital support for people are important, these programs are impersonal and sometimes inflexible. It’s the one-on-one interactions between people in need and those helping them that make them feel seen and valued as individuals.
Spoiler alert: You, too, will be uplifted in ways you cannot predict when you give of yourself in any small way to help make someone else’s day or life better.
So do the little things. Go outside and play with your kids. Help with the dishes after dinner. Offer a few words of encouragement in passing to the kid on the team struggling to connect with the ball. You never know how much your simple words could fuel them on.
Look the barista or store clerk in the eye and greet them before you order your coffee or pay for your groceries. Talk to the Uber driver instead of scrolling on your phone. Tip well; you never know the struggles your server is going through to make ends meet.
Listen to your co-worker’s position on a controversial issue and constructively respond without defensiveness or disdain. You don’t have to change your position, but often people just want to be heard.
Put a few extra cans in your grocery cart for the food drive in your community. Sponsor a local family in need at the holidays. Do it for others, but also to appreciate all that you have.
As you can, donate your time or money to a cause you care about. The organization will benefit in practical ways, but participating will also give you a feeling of real connection to something bigger than yourself. Which means you are more likely to come to events and talk up the nonprofit’s initiatives with your friends. Which means the organization gets even more funding or manpower to support those in need. A win-win for everyone.
The world doesn’t lack people in need or problems to solve. But throwing up our hands and doing nothing isn’t the answer. Your small actions matter. One person, one word, one small action – and yes, even one starfish – at a time, we can collectively move the needle in the right direction.
