We like to mark special occasions with pomp and circumstance. When my kids were little, we’d go all out with themed birthday parties. Colorful characters like Elmo, Rescue Heroes and Buzz Lightyear exploded all over the decorations, paper plates and balloons. A matching sheet cake was made with enough food coloring to concern even the most accepting nutritionist. Loosely organized activities kept everyone busy and (mostly) happy. Above all, the birthday child felt special.
Birthdays and weddings have long been a big deal, but even prom invites, marriage proposals and baby gender reveals have been elevated beyond what any of us could have imagined 15-20 years ago. At what point do these grand gestures cause us to lose sight of the importance of what we are actually celebrating?
Last Wednesday, June 19th, we observed our newest national holiday, Juneteenth – a day of remembrance and hope in our country’s complicated African American story. Before it was an official holiday, many families and communities gathered on the same day in decades past to share good food, music and conversation to honor their shared heritage and dreams for the future. Yet even with a lot of support for the effort, some were concerned that declaring Juneteenth an official holiday would make it easy for people to check off an obligatory box and move past important issues of race and equality for the other 364 days of the year.
Much of the world takes a longer approach when it celebrates Pride month every June to honor the contributions and struggles of those in the LGBTQ+ community. Thousands of people attend Pride parades to show support. Cities and organizations hold special events to celebrate LGBTQ+ individuals and the progress that’s been made toward greater acceptance and inclusion of those who have been marginalized.
We honor those who’ve died for our freedom with parades and flying flags every Memorial Day, but we also enjoy great BBQ, beach time and discount shopping on that long weekend that kicks off the summer season. Some honor his life of service by participating in community service projects on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in January, but many of us also use it as a long weekend to travel if we can.
It begs the question, even with the best of intentions on that day, is one day of recognition – or an entire month – enough?
With our children, we don’t stop with the annual birthday party. Good parents treat their kids in a way that lifts them up through the rest of the year as well. To help them be confident and successful in life, it’s important for children to know their value every day, not just on their birthdays. The same is true for everyone.
A day (or month) to honor a group of people or a movement is important. It provides much-needed public recognition for people or issues that might otherwise be pushed aside or ignored. And who doesn’t love to celebrate? We need and relish those moments of light and joy in our challenging world. But a symbolic calendar gesture should not replace genuine, well-intentioned words and actions that support a marginalized group or person in a deeper way every day of the year.
We won’t get it right every time, but we must try. And when we fail, we need to own that, educate ourselves and try again. In the end, we get it most right when we truly value the lives of the people around us – even when we don’t agree. To combat the regular storms of negativity in today’s world, let’s do our best to protect and lift each other up with the love and respect we all deserve every day, not just on designated holidays.
