I’m an identical twin. People have always naturally compared my sister and me. We accept that we’re a novelty. Yet it’s an interesting phenomenon as an independent adult to be considered (at least initially) as half of a whole.
We look so much alike that we confuse people. We both love to sing. Sometimes we (unintentionally) show up wearing the same shirt or color. We’ve even had some of the same medical issues happen to us, which can be disconcerting if you aren’t the first to get the diagnosis.
But she’s right-handed, and I’m left-handed. Her hair parts slightly to the right of center, while mine parts slightly to the left. We both love chocolate, but she also loves seafood, fish and mint; I quickly decline all three. We grew up in the same household but have lived hundreds of miles from each other for most of our adult lives. We’re married to two very different men, which sometimes throws off a person who only knows one of us but sees the other holding hands with an unfamiliar guy!
What do you think: are our similarities and differences most shaped by genetics or our environment?
For over a century, researchers have performed twin studies to resolve the nature versus nurture issue. Though study results apply to the greater population, twins are useful control group subjects. Identical twins share a genetic picture, so comparing those who’ve grown up together and those who haven’t provides a glimpse into what traits and behaviors can be attributed to genes and which are more influenced by environment. One of the most recent twin studies came out of Australia in early 2024 and analyzed specific brain function while doing certain tasks to determine whether genes or environment played a bigger role.
What do the scientists say in 2024: is nature or nurture more responsible for who we are?
The answer is (still) both.
Whether your eyes are blue like your mother’s or you’re tall like your father, your genes only get you so far. Even if you have a certain temperament or learned behaviors, the good news is that the quality of your life is heavily influenced by your own choices and your environment. There’s so much you can control.
So how can you set yourself up for success?
1 – Surround yourself with people who support your need to become the best version of yourself.
We are wired for connection, but who you choose to spend your time with matters. Some people build you up and others bring you down. Either way, your choices are influenced by them.
It’s hard to constantly fight against naysayers who don’t believe in you, so pick those who help make you better to be on your team. Whether life is easy or challenging on any given day, having supportive people around you makes all the difference.
You will cross paths with detractors along the way, but spend as much time as you can with those that improve your well-being instead. That means if a friend is giving you grief about eating healthier or working more hours to further yourself in your career, it may be time to lessen the amount of time you spend with that person. Or if a family member is jealous that you’re spending more time with your kids or learning a new hobby, you might reassure them of their place in your life so that they can be more supportive of your other needs and interests.
2 – Surround yourself with ideas that align with your values.
What values are most important to you? What do you believe in? Find people who support and live by those same principles.
With so many content providers out there, it’s easy to get caught up in the rhetoric. But we’re not born to hate or judge. Don’t let others persuade you otherwise. You can stay educated on different perspectives on important issues – and even talk to those with differing beliefs – without sacrificing your own principles.
What social media personalities do you follow? What news sources do you primarily listen to? What social or church groups get your limited time? Make sure they stand for ideas you support or find others that make more sense for you.
Let’s nurture our nature and control what we can. We’re wired for connection with others. And connection makes us better. But choose wisely the people and ideas that you allow to take up space in your life. Your success – and your impact on the rest of us – depends on it.
