I sat in the doctor’s office recently with a close relative who was scheduled for a fairly minor but potentially time-consuming procedure with a lot of down time between the different stages of treatment. Because they told us it could take up to several hours, I stashed in my backpack a range of food options as well as my laptop for writing. My latest book club read was at the ready. And if all else failed, I could play Wordle, Connections and Sudoku or do some Christmas shopping on my phone. I was all set. It never occurred to me not to fill up the time.
We go to great lengths these days to avoid idle wait times – in traffic, in restaurants, while shopping. We see time as a commodity for maximum use and enjoyment. We don’t want to “waste” a single second.
We reach for our phones while waiting in the checkout line, on the subway or at the bus stop. If you don’t think this is a problem for you, try waiting in a serious line (5-10 minutes at least) without looking at your phone at all – it’s not easy!
We listen to informational podcasts while exercising or play a game on our phone while watching a movie with our family. We give kids coloring sheets or an iPad while we wait for dinner at a restaurant. Gas stations even blast video programming directly at the pumps to entertain you in the couple of minutes it takes to fill your tank. Why do just one thing when you can do two or more at a time?
Why is it so uncomfortable for us to just BE – without our phones or other distractions – even for a few short minutes? What could happen if we welcomed idleness instead of filling every moment?
1 – Great discoveries lie in the waiting.
We don’t like the uncertainty that comes with being idle. If we aren’t planning or doing, how do we know what’s next? How can we be sure we’ll succeed? But being busy doesn’t equal success. Instead, it just runs you down.
When we allow ourselves time to think, our brains come up with new ideas. Creativity thrives in these open mental spaces. For me, walking away from a challenge to do something mindless and unrelated is often the best way for a solution to present itself. Connections between ideas seem more obvious when my thought process is less cluttered. Then I can come back to it and get to work.
2 – Be open to meaningful connections.
What if we talked to a stranger on the bus or subway instead of putting our heads down and looking at our phones? What if kids (and adults!) learned how to make small talk at the dinner table? While it might seem awkward at first, you never know the interesting conversations you might have until you make the effort to reach out.
Connections with other people enrich our lives, but they don’t just happen. We must make space for them. If we’re too busy or too distracted, we miss out on opportunities to connect.
3 – Waiting trains us to have patience.
When we successfully wait for the little things, we show ourselves we can do it for the bigger things, too. Not happy with your current job? Paying your dues at a lower level will hopefully earn you the promotion to the job you really want down the line. Wish a relationship had turned out differently? Getting through the challenge of a breakup builds resilience and teaches you how to do the next one better. Waiting allows time to rest and reflect, strengthening you for a better future.
Thankfully, we left the medical office in under two hours. Hardly anything I had taken to busy myself got done (except some snacking of course). And as uncomfortable as it might have seemed to just sit with the waiting, not knowing how long we’d be there or what the outcome would be, it was also a bit liberating. I connected with the personable doctors and staff, supported my anxious loved one, and in the end, the prognosis turned out well.
What are you waiting for in your life right now? What would you like to busy yourself through? Even when it’s uncomfortable, try not to rush that waiting period. That’s when the good stuff happens.
