The last few minutes before we start playing music can feel a bit chaotic. People chat as they get their coffee and take their seats. Parents try to corral their kids who are running around with friends. Band members get into position, tune instruments and get their music ready. For that short time, we’re all in our own prep zone.
Last Sunday morning, though, as we waited to start at the top of the hour, the bass guitar got up off his stool and came over to me. This time of year, he said, he likes to tell people around him how much he enjoys doing life with them. He said he really enjoyed making music together and appreciated me. I gave him a quick hug of thanks before he picked up his guitar again.
That was it. Done. But those few words meant a lot.
We have a good time when I sing with the group once a month, but don’t know each other well beyond that. And yet, he went out of his way during a busy moment to let me know he appreciated me.
Fast forward a couple of days. The 30-something, stocky guy who works at the front desk of my dermatologist’s office called to confirm an appointment. I recognized his voice immediately.
As usual, he was exceedingly professional and patient. Whether it’s a difficult person or challenging problem, he handles it with grace. Even if the world was exploding around him, I imagine his voice would stay pleasant and he’d make you feel like your issue was the most important part of his day.
When I went to my appointment the next day, true to form, he greeted me with a few kind words even while he was helping someone else. Acknowledging others and making them feel valued is just what he does. It’s a gift.
An hour later, he scheduled my next appointment, and I turned to walk out the door. But something made me think about my guitarist friend in that moment. Before I could chicken out (or tell myself this would be too weird), I spun back to face the desk.
“I want you to know how lovely it is to interact with you – whether it’s on the phone or in person,” I said. “You care about people and it shows. I really appreciate it.”
He stopped typing and looked up from his keyboard. He seemed genuinely touched. And even better, he accepted what I said without deflecting or minimizing like most of us do.
“That’s so nice of you to say. Thank you so much for that compliment.”
The whole thing took less than a minute. And it wasn’t weird at all.
Being grateful is a feeling. Gratitude is a practice.
It’s not just thoughts in your head. It’s something you do.
Start by really noticing what’s happening around you. What – or who – are you grateful for? Then express your appreciation in a way that works for you.
Give a gift. Be generous with your time or resources. Help a neighbor or a relative. Donate to a charity. Spend some extra time with your favorite pet. If you’re grateful for your job, do it well.
But if you really want to make a lasting impression, use words. Make eye contact and tell someone how much you appreciate them. And if the thought of saying something out loud makes you cringe, write it down instead. Send an e-mail or a text, or even better, give a handwritten note (a rarity these days)!
Go beyond a simple “thank you.” Telling someone specifically how they impact you will mean so much more to them. And maybe even create a ripple effect with them doing the same for someone else!
To those who are moving mountains for others in the world, and to those who aspire to. To those who are doing all the things – little and big, day in and day out – to make a difference in this world.
On Thanksgiving and every day, we are grateful for you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Please share this post with someone who needs to hear it today:
YOU MATTER. Through your words and your actions, you make a real difference in our world!
