For decades, New Yorkers used the steps outside their front doors – their stoops – to relax and connect with friends and neighbors. Back in the day, kids played stoop ball in the street while their parents socialized on the steps. People knew each other and looked out for their neighbors.
But as our culture became more isolated, they gradually retreated inside.
Then the unexpected happened.
In 2020, during the COVID pandemic, people started gathering outside in the open air to avoid spreading illness. Whether they were talking to their neighbors or cheering medical workers passing by as they changed shifts at 7pm every night, stoop culture was alive again!
New Yorkers started a trend.
By 2023, San Francisco residents Patty Smith and her husband Tyler took notice.
Wanting to create a sense of community more commonly associated with the suburbs, they took their weekend morning coffee outside. They didn’t have an official stoop, so Patty and Tyler sat on folding chairs on the edge of their street, waving at people who passed by and introducing themselves.
Soon, others started bringing their own chairs and “stooping” with them. One person at a time, the group grew. What started as a simple experiment to meet their neighbors blossomed into a thriving community. Now, residents socialize and celebrate together. They rely on each other in times of need.
Patty and Tyler literally created the community they longed to have, without moving out of the area they loved. Instead, they stepped a little out of their comfort zones – and out of their house – to connect intentionally with the people around them.
They couldn’t be more grateful for the deeply connected community they now have.
Stoop culture is contagious. Here’s how we can all be a part of it… no matter where we live:
1 – No stoop required
Don’t have a stoop? Not to worry. Pick any “third space” where it’s easy for people to gather and build community – a porch, a sidewalk, a street, even an empty parking spot. Get creative!
2 – Keep it simple
Stoop culture isn’t fancy. Take your coffee and sit on your front steps instead of in your kitchen. Eat your lunch in the office break room instead of at your desk. Go where the people are.
You’re not hosting or entertaining, so you don’t need enough food or drink to share. People will see your mug or sandwich and they’ll bring their own.
You don’t need to impress anyone. No one cares if you’re in a frayed sweater with bed head or eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread. Just be real. If you relax, others will feel comfortable being authentic, too.
3 – Be open
When you put yourself out there, you never know who you’ll meet. That’s the point!
Stoop culture is casual. A little unplanned. People drop by without invitation, which can feel uncomfortable at first. In that moment, remind yourself of the meaningful connections you could make and push through the uncertainty. You won’t regret it!
4 – Connect
Remember those awkward school dances where everyone stood against the wall and no one talked to each other? No one wanted to look too eager or say the wrong thing, so everybody froze as the music blared too loudly through the speakers? Painful.
Talking to people you don’t know can be hard. But it only takes a few short minutes to feel familiar with a new person, and then you’ve made a friend. So look up from your phone and start a conversation!
5 – Bring the fun
It’s easier to attract other “stoopers” to join you if you look like you’re having fun. With so much heaviness in the world, you might as well lighten things up!
Patty and Tyler’s San Francisco community works with city officials to advocate for local businesses and discuss issues that affect them, but they also host TV watch parties and potlucks. If you cook pancakes and draw sidewalk chalk murals next to your neighbors, you’re more likely to see each other through challenging times as well.
Where do you crave more connection in your life? What can you do to foster stoop culture and strengthen your community?
Start small and build from there.
One person and one action at a time, your community will thrive.
Want to learn more?
“Stoop Stories” dives into New York’s stoop culture here.
Learn more about Patty and Tyler Smith’s San Francisco stooping experience here.
(Photo credit Brooklyn Children’s Museum)
